Sisterly Love?

In the past year, my sister and I have become travel partners. We've mastered airport logistics, car rental reservations, and hotel stays. It's strengthened the superglue bond that we share and it's been fun being able to travel with my best friend. 

This past weekend we traveled to New Jersey and Philly to visit friends and check out the scene. Over the weekend we caught up with friends, went sightseeing in the city and even checked out the infamous Philly cheesesteak. Our weekend getaway was exactly what we needed and a good change of pace. 

On our last day there as we were packing up to go home, I asked my sister to grab my face wash and shower gel from the bathroom-- I'm a slight germaphobe and absolutely refuse to go in a hotel bathroom barefoot. Between the two of us, my sister is the more prepared organized one when it comes to packing and she remembered to bring her Nike slides. Since she was wearing her shoes I felt that it made more sense for her to get my belongings versus taking them off for me.  She was in the process of doing her hair near the restroom mirror but agreed to get my things. A few minutes passed as I continued packing up my belongings and I called out to her, ”Hey, did you grab my shower gel and face wash”? She responded, ”No not yet.” At this point, I'm just trying to pack up and really needed to put the liquids together. “Can you get it please?”, I quickly responded. 

Now I have been told by my family that my tone can come across as bossy and rude, but this time I made sure to be the opposite while still getting my point across that my belongings were needed and I needed her to help me. Well......that didn't go over too well, my sister was upset and responded sharply while handing me my things saying ”UGHHHHH YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!!” Although I did not respond, I began boiling on the inside while rushing through my thoughts, ”I’m being nice about it and she still yells.”, ”We aren't as close as we should be.”, ”I try to make sure I'm considerate of the way I talk to her and she blows up at ME??!!!!?!!” and, ”Sure we're sisters, but she doesn't understand me and I don't think she ever will.” I was swirling in a pool of emotions, you know the kind when something small is magnified in a split second and has you wondering where you went wrong? I was shocked, confused, angry and hurt.

I packed the rest of my bags in silence, checked out of the hotel in silence, loaded the rental car in silence and even started driving in silence. She didn't say anything to me and I surely wouldn't be the one to break the silence. The longer I sat in silence the angrier I became and I began to feel justified for being angry. Getting onto the busy highway, I realized that we hadn't prayed that morning as we typically do before going about our day. Well, I'll be honest I was not in the mood to pray with her and said a quick prayer to myself. I got off another exit and I sensed God telling me, ”Pray with her.” I immediately protested in my head, ”No way, nuh-uh, nope. She was rude to me”. I continued driving for a few minutes and felt God more intensely ask that I pray with her now. This time I responded to God as a 5-year-old pouting would, ”But I didn't even do anything. If I pray with her that means I'm caving and breaking the silence that SHE caused. Why do I have to be the one, why can't You tell her to pray”? As soon as I finished mentally protesting with God, I thought about all of the cars we would pass on the way home and how devastating a car accident would be. If we got into an accident on the way home, our last conversation would be an argument, not the endless laughs we had over the weekend, not our moments of girl talk but an argument. I immediately began to pray out loud, thanking God for the day and a refreshing weekend and asked Him for protection for us going home. Following my prayer, the mood in the car shifted, the silence broke and we had an enjoyable and safe ride home. 

Looking back at our disagreement, it wasn't that deep and was a bit silly. At the moment, what I felt was what I allowed to lead me but I learned that forgiveness should always come first.

“Although I felt I was the victim in the situation, I understand that obedience to God is greater than what I feel and I’m glad I chose to listen to Him over my feelings. Looking for justification in hurt feelings and anger is dangerous grounds for disobedience. ”

I felt EXTREMELY right in being upset with my sister but the reality was that I felt just as bad in being mad with her. As I allowed myself to wallow in hurt feelings and being unforgiving, I became more and more upset. Although I felt I was on the right side of the situation, nothing about what I felt, felt right. I’m not sure what hurts you may have endured or the reason you may be withholding forgiveness, but make it a priority to work towards forgiving the person or even yourself. Forgiveness frees and your peace of mind is worth it.